A sleep deprivation & stress post. Warning this probably only makes sense on very very little sleep & high stress.

Trying to sleep and yet I can't. Nothing exactly new there apart from
an ever constant reminder as to why I can't sleep tonight. I'm feeling
stressed and anxious over an exam tomorrow, at least though I can pin
point one reason.

I feel miles away from anything whilst wishing I was miles away from
everything. What do I mean by that you might wonder or ask?

I just feel like as every week of late passes I become further and
further away from the grand picture I want for myself, I guess the
general picture everyone has in their heads along with parts of that
picture that defines it for each of us, what makes that picture unique.

I feel like tomorrow is d-day for me. D-day in the sense that come 2
weeks when I get the result, if it's a fail I'll have to seriously
think about what it is I'm going to do. I only have 1 out of 4 exams
passed. Come 31/12/10 if I don't have them there's a very high chance
I'll be out of a job.

That is just one part of what's making me feel like I'm drifting. I'm
at the stage that I'm still near enough the shore that I can swim
back, but all it'll take is one more big wave and I'll have gone too
far to make it back.

All the ideas about this and that will vanish for whatever period of
time. For them to vanish for any period of time though is not even
worth thinking about.